make a wish foundation

Greta would like a sister. She has started calling Graham by Alexandra when she wants to pretend that she has a sister. But, she has also begun the campaign to get a "new baby." Many of her friends' mothers are pregnant, and she is fascinated by the idea of a baby being in a mother's belly. Who isn't, really. That's totally whacked-out stuff.

You know where this is going. She asked me how the babies get in the mother's bellies. Now, I had always wondered what I would say when this question would arise. Mainly, I wondered if I would follow in the footseps of my mother, Momologue Sr. (Pause to laugh at this moniker. Resume.) When my youngest sister, Betsy, asked my mother how the next door neighbor's baby got into her belly, my mother did not hold anything back. She told the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help all of us, God. She said, "Well, Mr. Sadler put his penis into Mrs. Sadler and his sperm fertilized her egg and the baby started to grow." (Pause to vomit and laugh. Resume.) Betsy's brilliant response this truth-assault was, "Oh mom, you're making that up." So, I have wondered if I would follow in my mother's truth-telling footsteps or embark in some fantastic lie when asked a similar question.

The answer? I used metaphor. I told her that a baby came into a mommy's belly when she and the daddy made a "wish" for a baby. Then, sometimes the wish comes true, and sometimes it doesn't. First though, you need a wish. Greta immediately put her hands over my belly and closed her eyes. She said, "I wish for a baby sister." See, this is why you just tell the truth. The truth expelled the demon for my mother in less than a minute. And, my sister never talked to her about sex again. I had to continue and explain to Greta that this wish of hers was indeed not going to produce a tiny baby sister. I told her that Daddy had to make the wish. Luckily, she bought it. Unluckily, Marc learned of this conversation and now likes to tease me with talk of the make-a-wish foundation. Stop it, all of you.